much easier...

Dear Friends,
I decided that this is a good time to start blogging again. There has been so much happening recently and it's been difficult to always be in touch with everyone who wants to know what is happening with myself and Whitney. Whitney has a wonderful blog and she encouraged me to start blogging again not only to help me get my thoughts onto page but also take the stress off myself of needing to update so many people.
I'm not saying that I'm the worlds best writer or that this blog will always be regularly updated but I have felt bad that so many people have asked to know how life is with me and I just haven't had the energy to reply to everyone.
The blog is entitled GodFearsandFairytales because that is what I am experiencing at the moment.
So here I am sitting in the kitchen of 17750 Highway 83, Colorado Springs surrounded by 6 dogs, 6 cats (3 indoor, 3 outdoor), 2 rabbits, 2 horses, 2 geese and a turtle and what a change it is. Over the last couple of months I have experienced probably one of the most stressful and straining times in my short 22 years of life. Getting married, moving house, moving country, moving lives is not exactly the easiest thing to do. My problem is that I often expect myself to just get on with it and not take the time to settle in and get used to my surroundings. Life here in America is very different and at the moment I am going through a phase of homelessness not because I do not have a home or a wonderfully loving wife but because neither Northern Ireland nor here feels quite like home. I know this is probably the normal feeling for those who move countries and cultures but there is no manual for how to deal with it and this is where God comes in.
I must admit over the last number of months my anger and frustation at God has built but it has been building in a silent part of my heart that I don't often listen too. It's hard when you feel like everything is against you and that God is silent. I think I am mainly angry at how silent I feel God has been yet I cannot blame Him because in all honesty I probably haven't listened that well when He has spoke. So now that I am here and struggling with the stress and strain of all things new, I find myself so desperately wanting to hear from the Lord yet knowing I need to train my ears and heart to hear His voice once more. The beauty of being here is the blessing of the countryside. Many of you might not know this but I personally hear the Lord best in nature so it's a real treat to go sit on the front porch and listen to the wind and hearing God's voice in it. I know I am a long way off getting back to the place of faith and trust that I know I need to be in to have that peace that passes all understanding but I know, even if I sometimes don't feel it, that God is a loving God who wants nothing more than the best for me. One of the most important things about this life on earth is having those around you who are willing to support and pray for you but I know that my problem, which is a family trait, is finding it hard to ask for that support and prayer. So I am asking those of you who read this to pray for Whitney and I. One of the hardest things throughout these last numbers of months has been the realisation that as children of God when we do something to try and further His kingdom the Devil tries his best to destroy it. Often he picks at my greatest insecurities, blows them up and tells me that they are bigger than God and so often, out of foolishness, I listen. Spiritual warfare is a topic that can be over dwelt on by so many Christians and before we know it we've spent more time thinking about the warfare than thanking that our God has already won and over the last few months I have felt the strongest sense of spiritual attack I have known. At times it has gripped me with fear and paralyzed my thoughts and I forget that we have an army of angels, lead by the Lord surrounding us. Please pray that the spiritual attack surrounding Whitney and I does not overwhelm and distract us from the gift of the Lord's strength. The greatest trick of the Devil is to make us feel like there is no such thing as spiritual warfare and that our God does not care.

Well what do the next few months hold? I have some more paperwork to fill in and yes it does make me mad that after the amount of paperwork I've already done to be here that there is more but none the less it's done and ready to be posted so that in a few months I can hopefully, without too much more stress, be able to work. The system is one that I still do not understand so I can't explain it much further but there is no need for anyone else to worry- just pray.
As for Whitney, well she's looking for jobs and as some of you might know the job market just isn't great but we pray that with the talents and gifts Whitney has that before she knows it something will come along that is just right for her.
For now that is all I have to say and if you are still reading this, thank you.
Much love to my friends around this world...
andrew